Nine Tips for Dealing With People Who Bother You.

[Rosa]

Lifehack offers nine tips for dealing with people who bother you:
1.You can only change yourself
The best way to address the situation is to change how you perceive it and how you react to it.
2.Draw your boundaries
Be clear on what you will tolerate and what you will not tolerate -- then stick with it.
3.Be upfront about where you stand
People aren't mind readers, and sometimes they may not be aware that they are infringing on your space or taking up a lot of your time.
4.Be firm when needed
If the person does not stick within the boundaries, then enforce them.
5.Ignore them
If you just ignore them, they don't have a choice but to seek out someone else.
6.Don't take it personally
Most of the times, these people behave the same way around others too.
7.Observe how others handle them
The next time you are with this person, get someone else into the conversation too. Observe how the other party handles it.
8.Show kindness
Often times, they act the way they do because they are looking for an empathetic ear.
9.Help them
Beneath the facade is really a cry for help.

[Septimus Pancake]

Thanks Rosa. That is quite helpful. However, I think that it refers to what I would call an ideal situation and that not all the points would work for all people or situations (well, for me in my situation anyway). For example, if you live with someone and are related to someone exhibiting bothersome tendancies then the ignore option is not really available. Also I have come across some people who take sign of kindness as weakness to be exploited for their own ends. Yes it is a cry for help, but some people won't be helped and seem to have a self destructive streak inside them. This makes it very difficult to help them or to get close to them emotionally without enormous personal cost. Ho hum.

[Rosa]

I understand what you're saying Septimus Pancake this theory is a very general one, I also think that this needs tailoring to individual situations and people. Like you, I would test this theory and if it didn't work for me I'd improvise, if that failed and it proved possible I'd walk away.

[Beginning Anew]

This is good advice and I need to try to remember this. Septimus, I have one of those self destructive people in my family although she doesn't realize it.

[Septimus Pancake]

This is good advice and I need to try to remember this. Septimus, I have one of those self destructive people in my family although she doesn't realize it.

You have my sympathy and my full understanding.

[Beginning Anew]

Thanks, Septimus! It can be hard sometimes, especially when you forget to stay calm. I try to remember to stay calm as much as I can!

[Septimus Pancake]

Thanks, Septimus! It can be hard sometimes, especially when you forget to stay calm. I try to remember to stay calm as much as I can!

"Try the patience of a saint" is a phrase that comes to mind (often).